Velvet Rain Drops

Now it ok, but you shut down....

2010-10-12T23:58:00.004+08:00

If I Were A Boy

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy

Love ~ Lust ~ Trust

2010-09-07T01:20:00.014+08:00

Trust held as dust,
Earned or lost,
If never of love,
Should not by lust..

Hush...
Listen from the beginning
Learn how trust is unhealing
Whisper
Trust is earned and lost
It must never be questioned
Thus trust is keen as the answer is unseen;

Lost of trust is the word that has been said,
The live that had been dead,
The rhythm that had been faked,
The blood that has been shed,
The time that cant be backed....

But grow, learn, listen
It trust not life,
Hence starts not ends..

~DASHA~

All Rights Reserved. Copyright © Dasha 2010 .

4 things u cant recover ....

Somehow Its all the same ....

2010-06-01T00:32:00.002+08:00

It never mattered what people say

I know they know everything

Yet i never believed them

It never felt like it was wrong

But i knew somehow today you were lying

Yet I never believed me

I adored your dreams and stood by you

I caused you burden but never disgraced you

Not a day of your lifestyle I doubted you

I never thought that I'd feel this again

Cheated betrayed for the feeling still the same

Worse than ever thought you were not like the other

The words you uttered sounded like from above

You told me everything and convinced me you were loyal

Believing was my arrogance and seeing was my blindness

Trust you gave was to fade the lies

All you've said today seems to deny

You say i was the only but another you fancy

Now love's pain has gone somewhere

Yet I'm still hanging there

Bleeding with tears heart ripped so bare

Ill stick through it since i have changed

But ill leave once my hearts confined

The present and past Ill leave behind

The future decided Ill never return

Hope or see, touch or feel

What you did to me, simple but its final

~sha~

~ Your Deadly Lullaby ~

2009-05-17T21:45:00.009+08:00

~ Your Deadly Lullaby ~

May the angels leave your sight;
As the demons haunt your nights,

May your smiles fade the falling heights;
As darkness shall fall upon life your horrible fright,

May truth prevail the liar u are never a knight,
You're worse than the God sent dark blight;

May all your wishes and dreams never shall be bright,
You're a sickly plague caused by u a deadly mite,

May hell fall upon you as you die alive in the grave so tight,
I swear you will cry your living for you will loose its good sight;

May the sin u shone on me be an end to all my plights;
You shall suffer the worst death without guidance of angels in white,

My justice will be replied cause God is my witness of all might;
Only then I’ll ease that everything now is finally all right.

~ you will never be forgiven nor will ever my curses make u forgotten ~

Rest In Pain
~4240891~

© Copyright Dasha - 2009 . All Rights Reserved.

AIM 09

2009-05-04T21:15:00.010+08:00

hey peeps .. i know its been real long since i blogged... n i know only ma frenz read ma blog since i have a life n dun blog bout every shit i do every sec of a day... anywho.......
was at AIM.. it wasnt the greatest show ppl here claim it is.. but it was good experience n fun bein there with talented ppl n really loving bf of mine... like always HE rawked the show.....

but the sial part of it is when ma bf told me that he saw dat MIDGET crawling around for cheap publisity down at PWTC .. dun worry guys it was there for some lame expo for some midget conferance maybe definitely not classy event material... but i din see it....maybe cause i cant be bothered lookin at things shorter than the everage hieght with a pig face rite....

anyways poor thing... i heard bout its miserable life lately which made it befren back all those it bitched bout so badly b4... wat to do... evryone know its true colours ma.. maybe after growin a year older is not enough to grow its maturity level still.... i guess its brains are as short as its height.. other than that weekends had been great .... Mega me n naz catched wolverine n it was HAWT!!!!

p/s: u wanna bitch do it to ma face... n d last time u checked u were such a coward u dun even dare walk to me when i stood right up to ur face.. maybe its ur height but wateva... we cant talk to animals anyhow... ;) diz is wat u get when u wanna start sumthin when there is nuthin...
n if u think its u... its not u.. dun perasan okie.... cause its very familiar to u but the world does not revolve around u like u always dreamt off...

btw its ma 2nd tattoo....

MA BIRTHDAY 09!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-04T03:16:00.002+08:00

SUPRISES!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

U can't turn back time......

2008-08-22T18:39:00.011+08:00

If u r reading this ...... You will know who you are??
as for me i dun blog n delete or blog n try to claim bein noble indirectly...
I blog when i should the most and when shouldnt at all(which are bout d lame funny crappy stuffs we do)

anyways......
i know i aint a perfect fren... n in ur definition ... one is only ur most noble fren when they agree to everythin u say n want... if not... they end up as traitors...

i know u play save by bein nice to both sides.. but when others do it is wrong even if they are not involved at all in a specific problem.. n i know how d game goes... but im not playin any game or am ever goin to acknowledge d game u choose to play.....
i know u want everythin the way it was...... BUT ITS NOT....
we have said n done too much to the frensip we created that we ourself caused its ending....
when u had a chance to say it all u chose to write in as a 3rd person... n when u were suppose to be the one who listens you chose to blame it all on a 3rd person who is your fren....
n now... its too long its too late.....

dun compare situations to be d same... relationships or frenships.... everyones situations n problems are different... dun try to make anothers wrong right to make urs look fine...
another short note to a stranger in d sheets... ure a deleted chapter.... so dun act or bother giving noble talks... cause if u really are all dat noble... clear what you did.... u know god knows.... dun claim it when u know it deep inside....

frenz will last when the frenship is true...

n im happy with all ma frenz now... cause they aint a liar like u....

This is how it will be......

Frens 4eva....

Bein good in writing wont change the fact of how life n reality is......
U can manupulate words but u cant manipulate feelings and the naked truth of what you know inside....
hope someday... u will quit all the sayings of silence n for once juz say it to d faces concerned.... cause where we r from... ppl always talk.....

no point replyin n saying its done cause u know it very well as much as u say it n wanna believe it... its not done at all....

"HEAL"

2008-08-06T01:28:00.006+08:00

by: westlife

Even though you're near me
I need you far away
To be an ocean
To build another way

I'll be broken
And I know it
But I just can't seem to find
Another way

Though you want to
Though you try to
You can't stop the rain
For the first time
It's not you
Who can heal me

I need some distance
To find another road
It's not so easy
Sorrow, such a heavy load

I'll be broken
And I show it
But I'm gonna have to live
Without you here

Though you want to
Though you try to
You can't stop the rain
For the first time
It's not you
Who can heal me

Poets say
As time's a case
A broken souls were mend
But you would come around again
So my sorrow's gonna end

But it's not you...
Heal me...
But it's not you...
Heal me...

Though you want to (though you want to)
Though you try to (thought you try to)
You can't stop the rain
For the first time
It's not you
Who can heal me

Though you want to (though you want to)
Though you try to (thought you try to)
You can't stop the rain
For the first time
It's not you
Who can heal me
Heal me

Weeping Willow Tree....

2008-07-04T15:48:00.006+08:00

Weeping willow tree
Creeping d nights winds
Touches follows d leads
Of life’s left seeds
Touch me tenderly

I hear you lil baby
Calling thy the mommy
Carry me back 2 eternity
Happiness seems so lengthy

Past still haunts d heart dats lonely
But gladly u hold me closely
While im under d weeping willow tree
Still searchin our destiny

Hearing seems too fade clearly
Sight of angles ends d darkness and misery
Weeping willow tree I know you’ll carry me
Strong and loving u gave me life as charity

Weeping willow tree
creeping d nights winds
I promise you honesty
Love despite misery

~DASHA~

PURE BAR N ME!!!

2008-07-03T15:24:00.002+08:00

I think i have this certain kinda weird relationship with purebar!!! yeap i mean the whole building... haha cuz last nite i won cash agn!!!! i hate bein dared n i love takin a challenge no matter how crazy it is... but not too much la...
but last nite it was me n mano who went up d consol(not sure bout d spellin) d both walked away with good greenssss....

n 2 those who saw wat happened... i am not so sure maself why it happened... but it did n i liked it... hehe *blush blush*
have fun peepz.. will update indon holiday pics with more blog posts comin up!!!! muakz

ADIOS!!

Leaving and The Left

2008-05-16T17:03:00.004+08:00

Left but still,
To watch you leave

is to know pain like the sharp edges of a knife tearing into my soul,
Drops a bloody tear drop into the graveyards earth,

To watch you leave

is as knocking on a door where when it opens theres a thick wall behind,
and an ocean deep of speculations on ur return.

To watch you leave

is knowing there wont be the warm safe sleeps, me pressing against your solid back.
Nor hear your steady breathing,Or feel the beating of your heart.

To watch you leave

I wake up alone in the mornings longing to see your eyes and the
moments are now small pieces of my past.

To watch you leave

I realize theres only the slightest little chance of your coming back,
and choose to believe in that when everyone tells me other wise.

To watch you leave

The trust we had has faded, to me i lie your love to me is not invaded,
trust is since that day in ur eyes ive faded.

To watch you leave

is knowing I've lost a part of my heart.
My smile. My sanctuary. My self. My throne.
Every night i wish for a miracle you being home
sadly all i get is troubled dreams of watching you leave,
me left ever so alone.

written by:
~sha~

To ma Untrue Friend.......

2008-04-29T19:22:00.002+08:00

Dear,

Untrue Friend aka Miss John Doe ( like u said we are unknown to each other cause I never could have guessed you can be this 'sincere' and sneaky in a friendship, and you never knew me too, or any of your 'friends' around you...because for you it has always been about you first)

Before you lecture further on friendship in d future, let me tell you how great of a friend you are through some of your own actions and behavior;

1: When a friend needed you(and she always did so much for you btw) you chose a guy (who at that time never loved you only wanted to fu*k you) over her and you LEFT her sitting there alone in the shop when that night she was so down and needed you by her side.

2: It was still fine they way you used your lame innocent excuses regarding what happened but when you turned all the accusation and suspection to NAJU, I felt like giving your shameless least thankful scum face a slap, its one thing you talked shit bout MANO and ANIS but for you to say that about naju was too far beyond the line, cause UNLIKE you Naju has a heart of a gold n as pure as a child n FYI don’t you have any conscience or shame, talking trash bout someone who just helped you financially.

3. Still at the same topic of friendship, have you ever thought of how much you love putting down your friends and others by saying how great you are, FYI maybe you should ask around what strangers say about you and maybe your friends should never have your back of defend you next time.

There’s so much more but its just wasting time writing bout you cause i'm only going to degrade my blog. Bout the police reports, say whatever you want about it being a crap because everyone else knows how true is the case, sadly you live in ignorance. Like you said you never cared about what happened that night, cause if you were a true friend you would have but I guess you said it yourself, you never cared and never had too.

Besides, you should be really thankful to some people for not fu#cking you up, and I’m just really curios how come before I blogged about the whole theft issue you always wanted updates on the police reports (even though you said you never cared, then why worry?), but the moment the blog came out you can pretend you don’t have a clue about what happened and was acting so purely naïve and clueless but what had happened. Innocent people don’t keep calling and coming back to explain and convince someone with lame stories. Innocent people will put it out there on the table clear cut and walk off by defending themselves.

You know what you ain't worth being friend with, maybe you should go find your old friends that you had when you first came here, oh ops I forgot, you cant cause you called those good people a bunch of weird freaks just to lie to yourself you are way cooler than them, maybe that’s why you were left crying alone once. Anyways take care. C ya!!!

Quoted from you “Reality hits hard” , my addition, in can be a bit*h too.

And here’s something thoughtful for you from me,

Never again will I allow this
How could you treat a friend the way you did?
No more of your crap of taking advantage of their kindness
And the lies you created and mean remarks you make for your own pathetic greatness,

Im done with your games and childish words,
Ur eyes cant lie as well as your lips can cheat,
If you were right; why are you acting and explaining like the one who wronged?

Im strong and I will never have to defend myself from a being like you,
Cant you see, your cruelness and fake in this world and a dying wannabe?

No more of ur stupid excuses and tries,
No more of ur lies and deception,
No more of YOU in our lives,

Your meaness outweighs the happiness and trust ur friends have for you,
Just go, like u said reality hits hard,
Let me ask you, whos true fren are you at their heart?
Like i said, NONE!

And so my words are a double edged sword,
For so long we wished you would change,
Yes you did, to become someone you can never be,
Someone who dont have all you claim to have or see,

But you decided from the start,
That friendship was only a one way street,
Dont tell me no shit,
That you care for a bit,
Cause when i was there alone you were never a fren in need!

Taking without giving
Breakin without mending
Backstabbing witout regreting,
No sorrow for my heartache
No kindness in adversity
Nothing....

Im done
N Im NOT sorry to say,
In our eyes you changed
Lower than anythin astray
And will always be an UNTRUE FRIEND everyday...

You can run but you CAN'T HIDE!!!

2008-04-12T20:26:00.000+08:00

The police reports came in yesterday=regarding the theft that happened to me, mano and naju after law nite ......

GUESS WHAT PPL!!!! the prints proves that the parking lot guys are CLEAN!!!

SURPRISING???!!!! this is nothing campared to whats coming next...

its been made very very very very clear....

the SNAKE is in the SHEETS!!!!

have you no shame.... what have we done to you to deserve this... what!? you thought we wont find out??!!!

when i asked the one who did it to admit it that night so no other soul would find out... you should have just done it....

we all know people can do very stupid things when they are desperate..... and if u did come clean that night or any other days before this we would have forgiven u and behaved like it never ever happened...

You choose to make the truth come out this way!

as much as people will talk to you now do you think your friends will ever trust you again.... how long it will take for you to do it to another one of us??

i can make sure you get locked up... but im not a friend like you.....

but remember.... no one is ever gonna trust you or respect you ....

as for me ... I HATE YOU!!! lying stinky theif...!!

may you burn in hell.....

the least you can do now is come clean... btw i wont be surprised if you don't cause thats how low you have been all along...

May you sleep in peace at night...

Friendship made Funny...

2008-04-12T16:14:00.000+08:00

We meet again over here after ages due to my laziness updating my blog...
Let’s cut the crap and go straight to the point since lately life has been really really crappy for me.

I'll start by letting you guys know about how ma life is living with a huge bunch of bloody bitches around us me.. and ma close friends mano n rathi, you guys are in d same boat as I am in this issue rite...

Some daring enough whore of the year threw ma stuffs out the balcony thinking its someone’s else’s.... but it ended up being mine and due to her bloody fucking bitching smartness someone who saw it stole it.... n its ma fav thing.... from this it has been made clear to me that some bloody bitchy people wanna start a cold war... and so BRING IT ON!!!! When I’m being an angle you better appreciate it cause in reality you don't wanna mess with the DEVIL.... sadly its too late for the bitch now... she asked for it.....

P/s; You two faced mother of whore!!!! when u had no one, when others treated you like the piece of stinkiest shit you are, when others ignore you for how ugly u are, and when others hated you for the fact of how you can be the stupidest person in life..... WE had your back.... thought you so much.... cared for you more than anyone, respected you and made you our sister... but this shit slap you give us back... I SWEAR you will pay... karma aint merciful!!!!! N its coming after you BITCH!!

ANOTHER FRIENDSHIP FAIRYTALE....

Dudes and damsels……

Like every other typical fairytale, this friendship tale had a happy ending too….
If this was what you guys were waiting to hear… You guys thought wrong…

I quote this phrase from someone who used to be a very very close friend of mine…

“Orang yg pendiam bukan selalu penyabar sha, boleh jadi pendendam”

And I guess your behavior and actions just proved your own words to be really true….
Sorry if I was harsh with my words and all… because I thought of all the friends I had U, V and WEE always knew my jokes and even if it went over the line at times we cleared things off knowing it was meant to be a joke…

Like I said before … open your mouth and say it if u have a problem but sadly you never did and I never knew your high level of inferiority complex will push it towards the drama last night…

No matter how I made fun of anyone of you, you guys were those I have always truly loved and cared for like ma lil siblings… but the way you behaved, proved what I was to you and how our friendship didn’t mean as much to you…

Try to recall back that I always talk to you about so much issues and seek for your advice… sadly you only chose to see the lil scratches in the friendship and you made it a huge issue…

If I was a friend who never cared about you I wont come to you if I had any problems… if I never cared I wont tell you to be honest to me when you couldn’t join us for clubbing (sadly you always choose to lie then admit the truth) and if I never cared and loved u enough my friend… ill leave you to smoke, die and ruin your own good name….but I tried so hard to make you stop cause I loved you…

Tonight after the way you behaved I could have thrown the tickets to your face when you acted really childish and asked me for your tickets but I smiled and let the dark moment pass but you just had to prolong it… hence it ended up here…. And your sorry sms was clearly not from the heart so why bother right…
Anyways… I never hated your nor can I hate you….
We are always friends but never ever you will be the FRIEND I thought I can lean on when I needed a shoulder to cry on…

Bless you always friend…..
Take care…..
Love always
~SHA~

Calling Out

2008-03-07T14:07:00.001+08:00

Dreams;
left to flow away,
Trust;
shattered in a simple sway,

Around I turn,
Searching for the lost soul,
Lost so too long;

Begging to come back,
The voice unheard,
Sinking,
In the depths of her flooding tears.

Calling for another,
Someone who would rather,
Lose himself and not her,
To love her for her;
and not for others.

It's killing her,
from inside out;
her silent voice screaming in horror,
Hands reaching for him in terror.

He stood there,
At her fading lost soul he stared,
Without guilt or pain his feelings he bared.

She faded away,
He left her there to decay,
Not a word he wanted to say,
To stop her lead her painful way.

© Copyright Dasha - 2007 . All Rights Reserved.

MA LIFE @ 08!

2008-03-01T02:57:00.002+08:00

Dedicated o ma OhSoBestestFriend!!!

2008-03-01T02:45:00.000+08:00

WHY???

we(me and crys) both ask the same question looking back at the past and yet fearing the present might turn out to create the same speculation in our life......

and then again we know for a fact... no matter how many times we ask ourselves that question.... there will never ever be an answer for it......

and so be it...... we will keep on asking because only we both know what we went through and how painful is that shattered heart that still is trying to heal.....

as for now.... i know we have each other.... as friends ... as sisters... as partners in crime ... n as two similar being born in a different time period.... i love u gal... u rock n thanks fr being oh so sweet and oh so honest to me... thanks for being my friend ALWAYS.... muakz!!!

im also sending a note off love 2 naju(u put a smile on all our faces just by letting someone say your name, no matter how far away you are) n mega u r d RAINBOW gal that is so freaking positive no matter what...

LOVE;
SHA

DAT THIN ICE HAS BROKEN...

2008-03-01T02:32:00.001+08:00

Finish it all ……… n if u still love me… I aint going no where…. That is if u come back.!!

All your promises …. I’ve never asked or expected anything…. N for all d sacrifices n pain I went through…. That one sms proved what WE really meant… n what I was too you….

And whatever your communities people over here are gonna judge me… here’s a thought for you guys…. FUCK OFF!!! You guys never knew me o will never know me so save your shitty cock stares cause you guys are worse than trash!!!!

Most sincerely,

SHA

2007 RECAP!!!!!

2008-01-01T15:42:00.000+08:00

Old frenz reunion...

2007-12-29T21:12:00.000+08:00

Firstly….. This is MA BLOG n it’s my wish what I want to write about... if it does not concern you ( some random unknown stranger) don’t fucking care!!! Hell yeah!! If you think I need therapy…. Then consider being this way is my therapy… btw… get a life rather than caring bout how mines going on!!!

Phew…. Back to my life that I love……
Anis and Naju came down 2 days back….. fetch those 2 girls that we here in Melaka have been missing like crazy… n off we wet to spent the bit more time we had left before they had 2 leave and the reason why we had lesser time was due to another smart ass… Ihsan.. Next time just pay your fees is mmu… than wasting 1½ hour petrol money n our energy…. U can just do it here … lesser time and you don’t have to worry bout the rest…

Back to the fun part…. Lunch was superb …. Indian banana leaf rice….. at my favourite place in Malacca…. Shelvams!!! D fish curry rocks man… after we ate n grew like cute lil fat piggy’s… we planned 2 go bowling….before that happened… like the retarded bunch of people we are… we went 2 d arcade…. U can check out the monkey dance I did on d video crys posted there…. Then bowling was marvelously cool since I slammed fatty onion man …. Hua hua hua hua.. n anis won without even having 2 bowl a single ball….. haha… that’s how we girls do it…. Then we walked around .. made fun n talked…. About everything and anything….. it’s the reunion of the gang…. Except that Karl wasn’t there.. n if he was, it would have been perfect !!!

In DP we went around looking for a hot POLO shirt for dear Mr. onion… so he can try looking as hot as us(me and crys) in pure… hua hua…. And he did find a good one… who chose it!!??? ME!!! See Ihsan…. I always know what suits who…. Ngeeeeeee…. Since the cyber girls were not staying we had to send them back to central…. Machaman showed up in central since he slept off…. (dude next time wake up when your best buds come down!!!) we sent them off and a second after we started missing them again…. Seriously girls… I miss there before and after holidays dinner we always go for, the kite flying where the kite does not fly, the camwhoring on random peoples cars and trucks… I miss those times….but its okie.. because I know we are close in our hearts….

MISS YOU NAJU AND ANIS!!!!

Something bad happened yesterday…. I found out ma stupid fucking idiotic useless shameless uneducated neighbour and his family including his stupid daughter who is going to be a mother did something massively EVIL and BAD!!!!! All I can say…. We never did anything bad to you guys… and you people keep on doing this kind of shit again and again…. So …. GOD can see….. have your fun making others miserable now… cause KARMA is just around the corner… and when it knocks on your door….. even the kindest person will never have mercy on you and YOU WIL BURN IN LIFE AND IN HELL and suffer so so so badly….. no living being can imagine the depths of pain you will go through. Wait and see….. GOD will show you pain cause he knows good people in the end will gain……!!

guess its today...................

2007-12-26T00:57:00.000+08:00

hey shahali......

guess by d time u read this u wont here.... ull be in china........

yesterday shahali came back from kl after seein his sis n bro in law... we spent christmas eve at d cube... funny thing is d bouncer at cube thought me n shahali was some vip n let us in without cover charge n said sorry 2 shahali a zillionz times... maybe when he saw me mad for some other reason outside cube he thought i was made cause im a soebody n cant go in.. HAHA!!!!

yeah THE CUBE sucks like FUCK!!!! WTF u dumb stupid bloody darn bodoh puki bartenders??? if u dun noe how2 make drinks... go kill urself la!!! we ordered 3 tequila shots, d stupid bloody bitch gave us iced tequila... so shahali repeated to dat dumb kawaii bertender bitch wat a shot ... then she was like.. o ya ya ... wait wait.. solly ar.... solly naik lolly...all they did was take d ice of out drink n 1 of d glass was cracked.. damn damn puki wei.... d bartender n d waiter saw ma face n heard me bitchin bout their stupidity massively....d music still sucked from day one...n itz a dance floor u idiots.. not a walk path ... have bouncers .. so USE them u idiots!!!! argh!!! o n there was diz chinese bitch who was gettin in between me n jaz n she asked d dance wif me so many times... ew... i may be bi but i dun like bitches like u... n her short fren came up 2 me n said.. u galz are so hot lor...ew!!!!

dance floor was so packed wif ew guys n dumb waiters carin beers walkin too n fro.... open d floor juz 4 gals... since d guys there aint so cool n it really sucks.... n the cube is turnin into a lame ass non classy rempit club... i give em top a month more.. it wil turn into a spazo....BLUEK!!!!!!!! vomit!

PURE still rocks!!!! n only pure plays d bangra song n addictive... cube u dun have 2 tiru la... its so dumb of u ppl....
and so we decided 2 go 2 pure and 2 night they wanted cover charge n there was only 30mins left b4 they closed.....

we went home...... we sent jazmeen off..... n bid goodbye 2 vivek d trusty clown of the cube fiy club has clown... lame... no offence macha u got good money so dats okie.... i spent alll ma time wif shahali................. we went for breakfast dat was really really really sucky.... our bad.!!.. thenback 2 ozana(gonna miss dat place)... packed all d stuffs dat was left n ma man carried d washin mchine from d back of d house stuffed it in d car n all d way up 2 ma apartment all by HIMSELF!!!!!!! WOOOWWWW damn ma guy is strong.... hehe... n still ma fatty!!! hek hek...

poor guy he was really really tired.... then our next stop.... BAMBOO HUT!!!! only 4 special occasions ... d food was great... n rather somehow no matter wat i order it ends up his food is always yummier than mine... even if it is d same order n i love diggin into his plate.... as much as he complains 4 fun 2 annoy me... he cant eat if i dun dig in... haha!!!! then ma stupid period pain gt real bad..... i hate bein a women when it comes to diz topic...FARKIN PAIN WEI!!!!! argh i hate it.... he was so so sweet.. bought em medcine n put me 2 sleep in d car awhile while he ran up jj 2 get some stuffs..... n he came back.. gave me med... n syg syg me... hehe... its nice when ppl pamper pamper u at times.... then it hit me ral hard..... that...that was it.. when i get off d car in ixora ... d next tme i see him is after 10 month.... we kissed n hug.... n i had 2 leave... it felt like d longest walk i had 2 talk..... n ma water paip up ma head was opened...i dun tear... but i cant hold diz one back.... then i control macho n stpped cause inoe im his rocker chic who is always strong......

right diz sec..as im typin diz sentence... he juz smsed me ... n he is in d flight ...... love u soo much n too much... ull b back soon.... ull bback for me n i noe.... i love u...... n i have d ppl i lve around me over here .. so it wil b okie... love shahali.... take care k....

peace out!!!!!

SHAHALI..... aasheghetam...... and .... toe hame chize man hasti!!

MMUUAAKKZZZ!!!!

ill b waiting..................

FOR NAJU N GRACE !!!!! miss u galz loadz!!

2007-12-24T05:40:00.000+08:00

~They calles us 2 model for Honda... we rejected... they cant afford us~

~kite runners...... we ran wif d kite all along cause it dint wanna fly at all~

~ dun ask .... even we wonder why we do diz ~

~ we lap u grace..mmuuaakkzz~

~ i miss n love u gal....mmuuaakkzz~

~ SHA~

SHA's DAY OUT..........

2007-12-23T17:57:00.001+08:00

hua hua hua... i should have blogged bout diz 2 days back but i was so freakin damn darn lazy i juz chose 2 pack for shahali n also sleep n watch frenz agn n agn on ma lap top....

btw.... back 2 d topic above, saturday nite i was so freakin alone... since shahali had 2b wif d family n all... n all ma frenz was not here n went back home... i decided 2 gim maself a treat , DASHA's DAY OUT!!!! i used 2 do diz very often in alpha n last time cuz shoopin alone is actually real great ... hanging out wif frenz is as great but diz way u juz get 2 do everythin u want n its ur way... u guyz noe wat i mean rite...

yeah... at 5.15pm,me rented car from who else, kak shikin... thank god diz car was good..... put some petrol n off i went on ma own road trip ...2 where???... of course mp dp n all d darn same place we can go in mlc la....

1st stop mp..... but b4 i reached dat place.... i wasted 1/2 hour car rent on a freakin stupid melacca jam... damn d bodoh... in a way it was good..cuz hitz fm was playin real cool songs where i enjoyed by doin ma car clubbin alone n singing out loud wif d blastin music... i kinda took d attention on d carz dat was beside me... they're jealous i can do dat without givin a damn bout wat ppl say o think off me... then in mp... i realized ive been goin there so freakin often n visitin n same shops agn n agn which made me re-realize(hehe... hope its gramatically correct jazmeen) that no shops will have new stuffs in 2 o 3 where i was there b4, .... bluek.....after d 'massive' window shoppin dat was damn lame i did a very good deed.... i donated 2 diz christmas charity a bit la.... where somethin really pist me off.... there was diz 2 malay rempits dudes in front off me saying " meluatla.. asyik mintak derma jer nak bina gereja diorang"!!!

WTF rite!!!!! damn d bodoh seh!!!!!! it was a charity 4 some orphanage d i dun get how can these ppl can b so stupid n ignorent... cant blame them o their parents... because in this country we have 'ppl' who instead of gettin rid off diz stupid danger causing insensitive rempits they support them by sendin em 2 the south pole(not dat sure but i noe its one of d poles) 2 promote their rempit stunts there...... how great brains.... wonder how great wil diz country b in d future when our futre leaders come from diz kinda rempit world.....

yeah...back 2 me... in starbucks.... me ordered a frappuchino thingy LARGE!!!! me lurve food n its relatives...with extra whipped cream n a blueberry daughnut!!!!! HEAVEN LO!!!!!!!!!!! i guess those dudes at d counter would have been wonderin am i a gal or a some hungry fat dude... but seriously pll... d amount of food i eat..... is A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but its okie.. it makes me happy.....;))))

after dat me went shoppin at dp .....next stop..!!!! jonker!!!!! i had d greatest time there.... i could juz listen . watch... d surrounding n reactions of man kind..... took ma own sweet time strolin along jonker like i was some tourist... hua hua!!!! am a local la peepz!!! at d end of jonker... im sure u guys can always see d place where they have diz stage where some old chinese aunties were army pants wif bots o some black thights where d fats are bulgin out massively wif shoes dat have diamonds on it doin d line dance.....

i jiz stood there watchin em 4 sometime... n i decided out of d blue 2 pull a chair n juz watch em... felt really really nice.... as ugly as the costumes can b there was some kinda achievement on these aunties faces... some of em were really old n its like they feel so happy n good doin wat they do... d smile .... d very kekok dance move they do dat they enjoy wif their frenz... as u watch em dance.... u juz like it.... its a kinda off a feeling u have in ur heart when u see d look in some of their eyes.... they are hardworkn mums.... who dun look hot... n wo noes wat they r goin through in their life.... but dat dance somehow make em really happy............... n there was this boy ..... he a a special child... who cought everyones attention..... he aint normal like ll of us.... his steps n dance is off beat no matter how he tries 2 follow d other crowd of dancers but his determination n passion made all those watchin really touched n proud of him... eventhough we didnt noe him ... exspecially d tourist.... sometimes i wonder ... we r born so well flawless n fine n have everythin....n yet we complain n take everythin 4 granted.... we take everythin easy... then whine on things we dun get bcuz we dun try hard or take it seriosly.... come think of it... i think we are the ones who are deficient or handicap... not them.....n im one of this kinda ppl...... I juz remembered.... if u guyz r studyin here in mlc.... im sure u guys have seen diz guy on a whelchair...where he is a 4 flat student n his dad is one of a kind... he pushes his son everywhere..... all i can say is they are GREAT!!!!!!

when man has everything good he forgets the important things huh......!!! okla... i quite d lari topic d..... ate 3 taiwan sausages wif lime sauce ...... AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH massive stim wei...... sugarcane 2 cups.... dim sum 8...... n had a beer at ogeographer... juz felt like watchin ppl ..... bonus point...damn cute mat saleh smile at me from d beside table.... haha... suka sorang but too bad wasnt interested...hehehhehehe *clap*clap* n dat was about it la..... o d way back i drived through dp mc.d n bought wat i always n everysingle time i eat at mcd ... chic foldover set Large n was really hungry so added mc chic burger..... drove back tryin 2 tahan d nafsu makan since food smeel was killin me all d way... while i was singin like gila agn in d car..... came back 2 ixora... ATE ATE n ATE!!!!!

then shahali picked fatvivek who came back from kl around 12 n jaz joined us when shahali came pic us both wif fatty in d car from ixora.... we went 2 zubaidah ..... ate agn pasembor.... it was a really HAPPY day for me... any day wf lotsa food is always worthwhile!!! dats all....

c ya!!!! gonna miss shahali btw........... packed n cleared 2 room all nite long!!!! i hate it la..... d shittyness really hit me when shahali cleared ma lil drawer i had in d cupboard.... cleanin n packin makes me all hyped up... but diz time was kinda really weird.... no happy feeling la.... no more ozana ...... no more fatvivek fetchin me...no more bike ride there wif ihsans ugly helmet....no more 'guys drop me off at ozana k" after clubbin.... no more switchin dat aircond... where d stupid switch is behind e beds head cause d remote is shared by all r rooms in d house.. who noes where it is... no more ma queen size bed..... no more ... juz no more.... fuck it la... sucks man... wateva.... it wil all b cool.. rockerchics are always fine.....

YOU are leavin on a jetplane......

2007-12-21T16:55:00.000+08:00

hey ya ....... diz is for dat some1 who made me smile agn.....

20th april 2007 4.45am..... i smiled......... again.... after so many years of pain n bleeding old wounds...

so much pain i saw you go through... so much hardship we went through... but nothin felt as empty as to find out u'll be leaving soon....

i noe i have a guarenteed come back from u.....

but im used to u.....

i love u....

i cherich u....

now im gonna really really miss u.....

ur nutty crazy dumb jokes.... d some simple words dat u at times prononunce wrongly n smile when i make fun of u.... when u hug me thight when i hurt so badly n u juz noe by seein ma eyes... honestly... i dun wan u to leave cuz at times i dun wanna b at dat same lonely place agn... then agn i really want u 2 leave.....for i noe dats d best way 4 u 2 acheive n come back to me.....

dat simple drink..... dat walk on d beach where i showed so much ego n u were so humble... dat soft person inside me dat u saw when i dun show dat part of me 2 anyone.... dat strong grip of ur hand dat lets me noe im save.... dat time on d train.... dat drink at d mamak.... dat letter dat showed me u... dat tear of honesty from ur eyes dat proved me u love me.... dat small kid you can b knowin u r actually old....dat girly girl u make me smile... dat look u give dat makes me blush....dat smart sarcastic remarks u make.... juz dat... all of dat n more il b missing....

i do annoy u....

i do hurt u...

i do get mad at u....

i do screw up on u....
i do make fun of u...

above all ...
I DO LOVE YOU................ soo much ... too much..... nuthin compared to how much....as much as i love u....

diz is 4 u..... (i edited it)

"Leaving On A Jet Plane"

All your bags are packed, you’re ready to go

I'm standin' here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn

The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn

Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll be back for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause you’re leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when you'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to see you go

There's so many times I've let you down

So many times I've played around

I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you

Every song I sing, I sing for you

When you come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll be back for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause you’re leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when you'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to see you go

Now the time has come for you to leave

One more time, oh, let me kiss you

And close my eyes and you'll be on your way

Dream about the days to come

When I won't have to leave alone

About the times that I won't have to say ...

Oh, kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll be back for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause you're leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when you'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to see you go

And you’re leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when you'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to see you go

But you’re leaving on a jet plane

(Ah ah ah ah)

Leaving on a jet plane

(Ah ah ah ah)

Leaving on a jet plane

(Ah ah ah ah)

Leaving on a jet plane

~sha~D.S.D.S~

C'MON.... assignment was due yesterday.....

2007-12-20T23:02:00.001+08:00

Don say YES if its a NO!!!!

don give excuses that are so lame ... its better juz tellin the truth....!!!!!

ppl can only b cool about it for a certain extent.... fon feyking all d time not onl pisses wveryone off it also troubles them......

i still remember that nite....
when d whole gang of mine was here... n we were new frenz..... good close frenz... n i noe i was there 4 u more than i could n cared 4 u sincerely.....
u thik i can 4get what u did that day...
still hurts ....
when u have no one... n u were the only fren there beside me.... u literally left me there.... when i was hurt n in the verge pf breaking down... u DITCHED me for someone who to tell the truth doesnt care for u as much or wil have ur back as mush as ur frenz would!!!!!

im juz tired of alwayz doin stuffs n last minute craps takes place... it annoys d whole crowd.....
have a stand... decide from d beginning!!!

btw...... i wrote this so someone can realize and see..... not to rub it in....
hope u get it the right way.... if not..... i du noe what else to say......

....

dinner was awsome....
crys sheel v n me... babi day out...sadly stupid idot mmu corners char siew( no mah siew k ihsan) was finished..... crap.. so ill go hunt for more pork tom.... i really really need it....
machaman also tak jadi purin tonite since dunno why.... n kesian him no free boozzzz... its k la.. nex time crys n me wil do our magic k.....
n PTPTN is in!!!!!! the fucked up part is dat... i have 2 save 2 pay next sem since oneof ma lecs failed me!!!!!!!!!

k la.... i wanna eat agn!!!!
i love bein me.. what i am n who i am.... so i can eat all i want.. i still look hot to me.. n some ppl i noe...
HELL YEAH!!!! (but gal... i wan wear bikini also n i wil ehehehhe)

ya.. ya... im not dead... still here...

2007-12-20T20:13:00.000+08:00

anyways..... i noe ppl rarely open ma blog... cause i rarely update it.... hence... here is another once in a ble moon post ....

yesterday was a day full of freakin so much fun!!!!
life was freakin borin until i ended up smsin ma best gal crys askin her out 4 lunch... since she was sittin a mr koreans doin nuthin ...... hehe..... i also wanted her 2 teman me go laundry since i dun wanna die therealone waitin 4 ma clothes.... n i had some personal stuffs dat i can only talk 2 her about 2 tell her... since i had no chance 2 tak to her about it b4.... we all do some shit... i am damn glad i can always turn to her... she might b younger n smaller than most ppl around me... but she some how understands .... a fren a nvr had...

we ate at witchery..... then juz planned 2 catch a movie together.. so walked all d way 2 campus 2 rent kak intans car n thank god we got a good one diz time... enuff of breakless movin seat cars...... cammie called crys n said she was droppin off V at ixora n V also wanted 2 join us... so we piked fatty machaman up n went 2 d laundry 2 collect ma clothes... then off 2 mbo.... sadly stupid mbo din play last breath anymore... n smarty we thought melacca was cooler than kuim so we went 2 mp cinema thikinthey would have better movies there....
n then we realised mp sucked even more than mbo.... i was already annoyed with the fct of there was no nice movies we 3 can watch to getter.... addin up 2 dat ma stupid balerina kawayi sandels was makin ma foot blister...so we dropped by at guardian 2 get me sandel skin socks whih i then wore i front f guardian... hua hua....

practically we were 'lost' in mp n so decided 2 'chill' at bintangduit aka starbucks... me n crys made told Vsome dumb religios jokes n i did d ring ring magic show zahir tought 2 V... huhu... V look like a doink concentratin...
later we passed by THE CUBE...... n decided 2 go 4 d openin dat nite..... wah.... kinda nice settin n all... loved d dance floor.... but the music was like a pile of crap .. some housy tranzy thingy ...so we decided 2 go 2 where we always fit in... looked good... n had lotsa lotsa fun.. our place.. PURE.

v got free booze due to d hotness of d 2 wow chicks he followed... (me n crys la) who else... had so so so much fun..... n noe ma machaman needed dat time off.... n like he was there 4 me n girl ... we were there 4 him.. like the old days when it was uz us.. remember guys..... u got ma sms on how our frenship means 2 each other.... n i dun wanna publize ur private life... i noe n we have faith it wil b fine.. we love u... u love us... she love u... u love her.... it wil b all good soon...

after machaman got pissed high we all mcd'ed n blk tidos..........................

cant wait 4 naju 2 come... we hang out like last time agn okie.... n we have d gals dinner we always have before n after holz.... muakz....

~sha~

tears of heart break...

2007-12-05T02:50:00.000+08:00

oit ppl....

i noe i suck at bloggin n it has been like ages since i last updated... but dun blame me la.. its juz damn hard 2 put diz things inside,out...

i can do it through poetry n put in on d net but then agn i takut ppl wil curik it cuz i dah pernah kena kot...

anyways... im dedicatin diz 2 a very very close fren of mine...whom his/her blog i read ealier today..

its very very hard 2 forget... to let go.... to say no... to say goodbye n above all its d hardest ( is diz gramatically correct) hehe...

cont* its d hardest thing to say i dun love u anymore or i hate u ...

when u love d person with all ur heart,soul n life...

v tell everyone v have forgotten d past...

v have alrdy did d last broke down n got through it....

v wil nvr go back 2 dat feeling cuz all we went through is pain.....

but deep down inside...

in a very dark far far corner of d heart....

dat statements above is a BIG FAT LIE!!!

the truth is....

we keep on questionin what we did wrong....when we noe we did everythin right...

we keep wondering what didnt v do enuff it had 2 end up so bad...
we crave for dat love dat hurt us so much... everynite we shed silent tears of blood...

no ones noes except 2 u, urself n god....

at times.... we even bitch about dat some1 2 everyone...
when somehow in d other end of ur brain... u r thinking of him... n sumtimes...
u juz miss dat person n send him an sms....
o giv dat some1 a cal...
u noe its wrong... it wil hurt more...
n its gonna end up d same painful way every single time... but u dun noe why u do it....
sumtimes i wish theres a cure 2 diz massive pain...
but the truth is there isnt any...
i think one fine day even AIDS would fine a cure but never
the bleedin pain of a shattered heart....
to those who can relate to diz....
i noe so many of u can...
all v can do is try to love agn...
even if dat love wil nvr fade o make a centuries 2 fade...

we have 2 love.....
in order 2 live ..... n in order 2 leave dat particular past that til now we havent left....

~you cant mend what u shattered~

~god bless~

My saturday midnight show.....

2007-11-23T02:30:00.001+08:00

You vowed you'll love me so,
You promised you'll let me know,
Once, your heart said you'll never let go,
You left before you bid hello;

I screamed a silent dont go,
You left; the reason why you didnt know,
I swear that night you killed my hope,
Forever in shadows; my heart will never again glow;

Goodbye before you bid hello,
Stop, I begged; your love I will follow,
Alone, our boat of life I can't row,
You pushed me away with a silent hell no!

Like the sky hides behind the clouds when it rains,
the rain stopped too late that the night came by and the moon didnt shine,
I ask myself why you did this painful crime,
Then blamed myself as feelings turned more sour than lime.

Bloody river of tears on my cheecks it flow,
Trust is the last thing to you I will now show,
You sweared my tears wil never shed and in life you will help me grow,
As for now its the broken glasses you left for me to swallow.

You left the miracle that once glowed,
Its too late now to say hello,
This pain remains as if I didnt let go,
This night of remembrence as black as a death crow.

~SHA~

hey guys.... i noe its kinda late to blog about this but nothin is too late rite...... thanx 4 bein there 4 me d other night... crys, jaz, vivek,ihsan, wee, n sheel...... so glad i had u guys there....

somethis we cant pile up everythin inside... somehow it wil come out.... love ya guy n thanx so much...

n this is wat i wrote in d car d other night.....

~SHA~

A random reason.......

2007-11-17T17:39:00.000+08:00

Life speculates the truthfullness fate,

the experience n gracefullness of GOD,

the bond of family and friendship,

and d eternity of love with no exception for who falls in it.
~SHA~

its kinda weird how i thught of dat but thanx 2 d movie i watched when d sem newly started.... it kinda made me think about life...... dat life aint just about goin 2 classes doin exam n hangin out wif frenz n fly , but there is somethin more 2 it.... deeper 2 it.... life contains so many characterictics n a few of it is sacrifice, responsibilities, love, care, respect, dreamz, promises, honesty n etc.....

it is also about me, about you, about them n about us.......

about every1 HE created... about everyting HE stated n started......

a lot of us question HIS existence,so many of us assume he is a lie....

some of us create publisity 2 ourself while talkin bout HIM 2 a roomfull of ppl.......

why....... im not sure myself...

2 me ..... i dun need another being 2 show me or tel me why he exist....

im true 2 my religion n in d same time i dun need my religion 2 show me HE is there...

2 belief in HIM is to belief in urself n trust urself......

2 listen to ur own concience n 2 see life from a bigger pic.....

HE is 1.....

we juz seperate him into what n how we want 2 believe in.....

i juz wrote diz without a reason....

i felt it.... like i felt HIS presence....

we dun need a reason 2 believe..... same as we dun need a reason 2 live....

but we live because we created those reasons......

~SHA~

Me N Me BlOg

2007-11-17T12:11:00.000+08:00

HEHEHEH!!!! hey ya ppl...... mmm im sure all f u who noes me real well wil b freakin surprised 2 see ma blog.... sorryla... i noe i have always said i wil nvr blog... i aint blogger.... i hte bloggin n all... but sum how... it kinda changed... firstly its buz of ma dear gal crystal sue!!!! me wanna make money like her too... through ma blog... 2ndly.... after readin sum really inspirin blogs by others eg: lee kuan yew, ma gurl crystal, karls old blog, marina m n also cry's older bro leandre n a few more....
i think i should make 1 too...

so,,, u guys can learn ma unique n cool vocab.... n 2 share lotsa crap joke n real like shits dat is hppenin around us....

p/s: i aint good in writin n am still new in bloggin... so ma blog not so cool eh....
CHOW!!